Lover Without a Lover

humansofnewyork: “After this I go to work at a pizza shop. My...

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:32:28 -0400

“After this I go to work at a pizza shop. My wife and I were college professors in Bangladesh. I taught accounting. But one dollar in America becomes eighty dollars when we send it back home.”

Photo

Wed, 22 May 2013 07:15:24 -0400

the color of low self esteem

Wed, 22 May 2013 07:12:48 -0400

miguu:

what i never
learned
from my mother
was that
just because someone desires you
does
not mean they value you.
desire is the kind of thing that
eats you
and
leaves you starving.

"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living."

Wed, 22 May 2013 07:10:50 -0400

“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”

- Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (via belle-de-nuit)

365 days Challenge - Day 213

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:31:00 -0400

The person closest to your heart.. how do you know them?

As in the person I confide myself in the most ? It’s a big person who has a great love for kittens and who lives an ocean and a rock away.

Conversation typique (et traduction) entre deux étudiants en droit

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:03:54 -0400

Pépito (nom fictif): Hey, comment ça va?

Moi: Bien, bien, et toi ?

Pépito: Super, qu’est-ce que tu fais de bon?
Fais-tu quelque chose d’aussi hot que moi en ce moment?

Moi: Ah, pas grand chose, la vie est relax. Et toi?
Qu’est-ce que tu as à me vanter cette fois-ci?

Pépito: Moi aussi, prend-tu un cours d’été toi ?

Moi: Oui, droit judiciaire privé 1!

Pépito: Ah je vois, où travailles-tu cet été finalement?
As-tu réussi à avoir un stage aussi cool que le mien cet été?

Moi: Ah, je suis pas sûre encore, toi?
There is only one God for law students: competitiveness. What do I say to useless competitiveness? “Not today”

Pépito: *évite de répondre par exprès* pis as-tu vu les notes pour l’examen final de pénal ?
As-tu eu des aussi bonnes notes que moi pour devenir une menace pour moi lors de la prochaine course aux stages ?

Moi: Correct, et toi?
J’ai eu une note de marde mais j’avalerais un cactus avant de t’avouer un tel signe de faiblesse.

Pépito: Oui, je suis content de ma note.
Je vais te donner une réponse qui est vague mais qui te laisse quand même croire que je suis un bollé.

Moi: Hehe, okay. Bon je dois y aller, bonne soirée! Bye
Adios, à ne jamais revoir, ne reviens plus me parler d’école avant le mois de septembre. Merci, bye bye, passe une bonne vie!

"Stop ruining love by wanting it so bad."

Mon, 20 May 2013 20:19:48 -0400

“Stop ruining love by wanting it so bad.”

- Derrick Brown (via hellanne)

365 days Challenge - Day 212

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:54:54 -0400

One person you know you can trust.

Haven’t I already answered this question before ? The answer would be my mom.

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Sat, 18 May 2013 06:45:28 -0400

365 days Challenge - Day 211

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:19:42 -0400

A picture of you and your best friend

My best friend is sexier than yours

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Thu, 16 May 2013 20:09:32 -0400

365 days Challenge - Day 210

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:15:22 -0400

In a nutshell, what is your daily routine ?

Really not very interesting.

When I have school : get up, go to school, come home, eat, procrastinate, Internet, lament, sleep.

When I don’t have school : get up, Internet, eat, procrastinate, lament, sleep.

everyone who terrifies you is 65% water, and everyone you love is made of stardust. i know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home, and you have cried yourself to sleep enough times that you are down to your last two 2%, but nothing is infinite, not even loss. you are made of the sea and the stars, and one day you are going to find yourself again... (i'm not sure where i heard this from, but i hope you would enjoy it Josie)

Thu, 16 May 2013 10:59:00 -0400

Thank you so much, I do enjoy it a lot, it’s very beautifully written. It’s random act of kindness like yours that make my day :)

365 days Challenge - Day 209

Thu, 16 May 2013 00:00:00 -0400

what do you remember about last winter ?

I remember being depressed and confused about my life. Christmas was overwhelmed with emotions. I spent a lot of time just thinking about people, and life, trying to find answers.

It was a sad winter. I was lost, misunderstood, and felt like all was out of control. If only there was someone who listened ~~or if only I started watching Game of Thrones back then, it would’ve been a good distraction~~.

nemomynameforevermore: GUYS I WAS AT THE LEAFS GAME WHEN THIS...

Wed, 15 May 2013 12:26:19 -0400

nemomynameforevermore:

GUYS I WAS AT THE LEAFS GAME WHEN THIS HAPPENED I WAS CRYING

Photo

Tue, 14 May 2013 20:32:00 -0400

365 days Challenge - Day 208

Tue, 14 May 2013 19:53:08 -0400

Tell us about your family

I have a mom, a dad and no siblings.

My mom is a jolly little lady who likes to joke around and quote old Chinese comedy movies. She is smiling all the time and gives people the impression that she is harmless, clueless and adorable. But she is extremely insightful and intelligent. She has had a difficult childhood and learned to say the things people want to hear to get out of trouble. She has a quick temper and that is the only thing that causes problems in our relationship. She is very ambitious and somewhat idealistic. She is a loving mother no matter what and does what she can to provide the best for me.

My dad is a zen person who lives by a set of good moral standards. He likes to read novels, and to play games like chess or bridge poker. He always says no to corruption despite it being “tolerated” and very much present in the Chinese society today; this makes him not as wealthy as he perhaps hopes or deserves to be. He lives in China so it’s sometimes hard to keep in touch with him. Yet he always made sure that I know he loves me and I am extremely grateful for that. I saw him recently, and I just learned so much more about him that I couldn’t understand when I was younger. He, like my mom, is intelligent and resourceful.

Parents and communication

Mon, 13 May 2013 23:02:27 -0400

I don’t talk about my trouble and problems with my parents, especially when it concerns my love life. The one word I could use to describe the relationship I have with them is “goofy”, so goofy that it feels uncomfortable when we have a serious conversation.

When I was about 14, I came home crying one day because I was upset over a boy. That was the first time I ever mentioned anything about a boy to my parents. My mom said things like “oh this is a good learning experience” and my dad was just furious. He was going through a difficult time in his life. He scolded at me for thinking about boys at such young age when I should be focusing on school instead. He wasn’t being a typical Asian dad, he was just miserable and needed something to lash out at. It went downhill really fast and my parents started to have a big fight that lasted for weeks. The days after that my dad kept on asking me if I wanted to “go back to China” with him. I could not understand why the fact that I was sad over some boy would stir up such a big fight in my family. Even though now I understand that there was no link between those two incidents, I never talked about boys to my parents again.

Now that I am, according to my parents, old enough to date, they can’t stop bothering me about the fact that I still don’t have a boyfriend. I am certain that I could’ve used some good advice from my folks but I am just unable to open up to them.

This lack of communication has resulted in some very awkward conversations with my mom recently. She asked me what’s wrong and why I never go on dates, and whether boys find me attractive at all. I responded by saying that I can’t possibly know what other boys think of me, and I don’t go on dates because I don’t meet people I wanna go on dates with. And then she asked me if I had sexual desires for girls, to which I responded that no, I am not homosexual.

"Only do not forget, if I wake up crying it’s only because in my dream I’m a lost child hunting..."

Mon, 13 May 2013 01:35:58 -0400

“Only do not forget, if I wake up crying
it’s only because in my dream I’m a lost child
hunting through the leaves of the night for your hands.”

- Pablo Neruda (via man-of-prose)

Writings for Winter: first loves

Mon, 13 May 2013 00:05:11 -0400

Writings for Winter: first loves:

first loves

You know, I don’t think you ever really forget your first love. They’re the one that made your second love possible. Sometimes you want to throw your hands up in the air and say Fuck it to them, but they paved the way for all the other bodies after them. There’s so much beauty in every thunderstorm, so many strangers’ hands touching every day, once, and then maybe they touch again years later, yet no one ever realizes it. Your first love is like no other; you’d stay out past your curfew for them, key cars for them, steal liquor from the drugstore for them, do silly, unimaginable, ridiculous things for them that you’d never do normally.

So many of us think we depend on loneliness when really loneliness is something that depends on us. It’s something that you have to starve slowly so you can kill it and throw it away. God, what a terrible thing it is to love, isn’t it? To sit in the back of an abnormal psychology class or a human relations class and feel the tension between you and the person sitting in front of you so palpably, so real you could almost reach out and touch it, like an electric current stretching between the two of you. And the back of their neck, that curve that ends in the darkness of their shirt, the dark hair trailing down the white skin. They’re just so unapologetically human.

And to love that first love so much, to crave them like a drug, to love them so hard you could crush their heart between your fingers like an egg shell; they’re like one of those baby birds that falls out of its mother’s nest and cracks its head on the pavement-you love them that bad. That hard.

And when that first love loves you back, you could kill yourself from the wanting. The wanting is worse when you’re actually with them. You want their legs, to touch their body, their hair, their skin. You fall in love with the way they eat their soup with a fork or their sleepy yawns. Lightning storms are nothing compared to the current of human desire; it carries a maximum voltage like nothing scientists have ever seen. Let me tell you something. There’s a reason Snow White ate that poisoned apple.

There’s a reason your first love never goes away-

they were just practice for your last love.